“More than just fluffy bunnies”
(Backyard Wildlife College, Allentown PA, est. 2017)
Newsletter June 2018
Hello all, and welcome to the first newsletter of the Backyard Wildlife College!
As some of you may know from Twitter announcements, Backyard Wildlife College (BWC) is in the process of hiring a new Visiting Assistant Rabbit following the disappearance of the colleague of Professor Bunny. This position may be converted into a tenured one if the new partnership succeeds in attracting funding for the creation of postdoctoral positions for baby rabbits.
While it is impossible to get a grip on the current number of faculty in the Squirrel Department, the College is fairly confident that shortly there will be a number of postdoc positions added there, too, following a planning meeting last Friday morning on the electricity pole in between the wires, and a follow-up meeting that evening. There will also be compulsory Health and Safety Training for all members of the Squirrel Department, with particular focus on preventing injuries and burns during pole- and line-dancing.
In further developments the Division of Furry Creatures is pleased to announce there are multiple vacancies for bats (ongoing enrollment for students, too), ideally to be coordinated with the openings in the Division of Feathered Creatures announced below.
In line with the College’s mission to increase diversity, the Division of Feathered Creatures has invested in new infrastructure in tandem with its pilot project to attract a particularly underrepresented group to the summer school: last Wednesday a new Hummingbird Feeder was installed, and the College eagerly awaits its first visitors. If all goes well, a “Colibri Course” will become a regular offering in the summer semester. The groundskeepers welcome feedback from other institutions which have successfully attracted these wonderful guests. They are well aware that nectar-bearing flowers would be a great addition to the local environment, but it will be difficult to add them at this point. College facilities will be closed for a few weeks over summer for the semi-annual staff visit to the European mother school, the Belgian Backgarden Wildlife College (Collegium “Vanachter in den hof”). Volunteers are welcome to apply for the position of temporary groundskeeper at Allentown BWC. Please signal your interest via the comments if you’d like to take care of any augmented wildlife facilities during that time, and a member of the team will be in touch.
As alluded to above, multiple lines are open in the Division of Feathered Creatures. Preference will be given to candidates with a sub-field in aerial combat with mosquitoes, and a collegial attitude to the members of the Bat Squad in Furry Creatures; swifts and swallows are strongly encouraged to apply.
Please spread the word about these positions, we hope to welcome many new members to our campus.