*Pop*!

Uhm. Ok. So these things…

Box of Brown Sugar Cinnamon pop tarts, one of the packets still in silver foil lies in front of the box, unopened.
Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tart. “Try them!” they said. “Your life will never be the same!” they said…

Back in March, I confessed for the second time on twitter that I’d never had a pop tart. I don’t even quite know how to describe them to those of us who didn’t grow up with them. They’re “toaster pastries”? So you stick them in the toaster and they come out all nice and toasted and ready to eat? Really? This being America, I have to admit to being very (very) cautious about anything that is produced en masse and available all over the country in uniform flavours, shapes and sizes. And so I steered clear of them successfully for most of the 8 years I’ve lived here now.

That is, until my friend Jacki and her husband were kind enough to do my groceries when my shoulder had healed enough to do my own cooking, but I could not yet drive. So one fine morning, she showed up and plonked down, in addition to my healthful veggies and raw hazelnuts and whatnots from my shopping list, this package of Poptarts. “Little present for you from me, to try!” Oh. Ok, thanks! Great!

I asked advice from various quarters: How do you eat them? “Put them in the toaster. But really low, and keep an eye on them, because your toaster may catch fire and burn otherwise.” Wait what? Why would you willingly risk setting your house on fire for a pre-fab sugar junk food snack?!? Debates ensued: “You can also stick them in the microwave.” “Nah, they’ll go soft.” “Just not that long!” “No no, eat them straight from the package!” Gasp! You mean I’m to eat them RAW???

Foil with two brown sugar cinnamon poptarts revealed.
Yaaa- really appetizing to eat them straight from the package, right?

Since each foil package contains two “tarts”, I decided to risk it in the toaster with one, put most of another in the microwave in 15″ increments, and nibble on a raw corner.

But because I value the services of my $5 second-hand brave little toaster, I decided to protect it from sugar-melt-fire:

Toaster with two slots, in the left slot is a poptart with a piece of baking foil wrapped around it, the baking foil sticks out.
Baking foil to the rescue! Protecting my Brave Little Toaster (which needs a scrub, but that was hard to do with one crummy arm in March.)

The verdict of the experiment? If I were really, really hungry and there wasn’t anything in the house, I’d risk my toaster. The pastry casing is “flat” in taste even if a bit more crunchy after toasting, the sugar/cinnamon is not very exciting. The microwave didn’t do anything for me, and straight out of the package would be only useful in case of prolongued zombie-attacks or other acts of deities making it impossible to forage outside for wild berries.

Sorry friends, I know I just failed my citizenship test. I think it’s one of these things you need to grow up with, and clearly I didn’t! But if any of you want some Brown Sugar Cinnamon poptarts, I have a box with another 10 of them (5 packs of 2 each) to hand out, just drop me a line! You’re also welcome to have them here with a lovely cup of tea or coffee!

8 thoughts on “*Pop*!

  1. Nonna

    Leve de vlaaien, de wafels, de biscuits met slagroom en de. Onvergetelijke duizendbladeren gebak.
    Dat laatste beloof ik je bij je thuiskomst.
    Zoals met witloof en witte asperges.
    Je moet ermee opgroeien.😍

    Reply
  2. Curt

    You are braver (hopefully not just more curious) than I who was born in U.S. and remembers when these were introduced.

    Reply
    1. polifinario

      đŸ€Ł They didn’t look lethal, so I don’t know how brave you have to be to at least give them a try when everybody is egging you on 🙃

      Reply
  3. Carolyn Gray

    I envy you staying in the USA for one thing. I love cinnamon. They have cinnamon toothpaste and really know how to use it in multiple ways. Mmmmmm cinnamon

    Reply
    1. polifinario

      I love cinnamon, too – but I honestly think people have different standards here of what constitutes good quality. Call me spoiled, I’ll wear the label with pride! And yes: cinnamon toothpaste Mmmmmmmm!!! (And *nice* cinnamon donuts, and cinnamon buns….)

      Reply
  4. Beate Hahn

    The pop tarts don’t look like a real treat to me. I guess the ingredient list might have a few items on it which one wouldn’t have in the cupboard. I really like cinnamon but rather in “proper” bakery, stewed apples or porridge. But you are right to try them. Then you make a decision from knowledge not just from prejudice.

    Reply
    1. polifinario

      Cinnamon is great, but yes, I’ll be looking for cinnamon cookies (or biscuits, on your side of the Atlantic 😀 ) or cakes to make myself. Or nice buns!

      Reply

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